{"id":10425,"date":"2017-11-10T12:45:08","date_gmt":"2017-11-10T20:45:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.palada.net\/index.php\/2017\/11\/10\/news-4198\/"},"modified":"2017-11-10T12:45:08","modified_gmt":"2017-11-10T20:45:08","slug":"news-4198","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.palada.net\/index.php\/2017\/11\/10\/news-4198\/","title":{"rendered":"Duplicitous Teddy Bear Shocks Amazon Shoppers With Grotesquely Long Legs"},"content":{"rendered":"

Credit to Author: Samantha Cole| Date: Fri, 10 Nov 2017 20:11:33 +0000<\/strong><\/p>\n

A giant stuffed bear is inexplicably back in the discourse after at least two years in hibernation. And look: Its legs are fuckin\u2019 long. <\/p>\n

The bear, which is sold through home goods distributor Joyfay<\/a>, is listed on Amazon as six-and-a-half feet tall. \u201cMORE TO LOVE\u201d the description hollers. \u201cSoft silky giant.\u201d \u201cMost stains will come out with just soap and water.\u201d Oh yeah, this big fella is worth every penny of the $109.99 Joyfay\u2019s asking for it. There\u2019s just one issue. Those legs. They\u2019re… incredibly long. <\/p>\n

It\u2019s clear that the angles presented in the Amazon listing<\/a> are deceiving: They\u2019re all shot from the feet, or cut the legs out of the frame altogether. <\/p>\n

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Image: Amazon <\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Joyfay told Buzzfeed<\/a> in an article published Friday that following complaints, the bear \u201chas been improved and no longer has long legs.\u201d That sounds like the opposite of improvement to me, but okay. I also asked Joyfay about their leggy son, and will update when I hear back.<\/p>\n

But people in the Amazon reviews are pissed.<\/p>\n

The 6.5-foot version of the bear and the 4.5-foot version seem to have the same bear torso, and to tack on that extra two feet, they put it all in the gams.<\/p>\n

One review stands out: \u201cLegs are awful<\/a>,\u201d Savannah wrote in January 2016. \u201cHideous! The legs are like 4 feet long making the bear look like a creepy gumby thing.\u201d <\/p>\n

What\u2019s most striking about this review is how they shot the attached photo: like the bear is being held hostage in someone\u2019s mom\u2019s den. If they\u2019re making a low-budget psychological horror film set in a Pottery Barn, this would be a fine promotional image. <\/p>\n

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Image: Amazon <\/div>\n<\/div>\n

The rest of the reviews are just as disturbing and hilarious. In a two-star review<\/a>, Rich wonders aloud about the manufacturer\u2019s motives: \u201cNotice the photo the seller uses doesn’t show it’s legs! I’m going to try to upload a picture showing it’s full body,…this seems to be a case where the manufacturer added leg length which would be cheap in comparison to making the entire bear larger to claim it was taller than the competition. Take a look around before buying this item!\u201d At your life, at other bears, at existence itself.<\/p>\n

K. Erickson<\/a> is our new Poet Laureate: \u201cI expected it to hop up and sprint away down the street with a fingerless fist raised in victory… She won’t keep it in her room anymore because her friends won’t visit because of the nightmares.\u201d <\/p>\n

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Image: Amazon <\/div>\n<\/div>\n

This bear is actually ruining an anonymous Amazon customer\u2019s<\/a> life: \u201cDon’t buy unless you have a huge bed and very large rooms,\u201d they warned. \u201cThis guy is gigantic and takes up over half of a queen bed. I love him but his legs are too long.\u201d Damn dude, that\u2019s rough.<\/p>\n

Possibly worst of all, several reviewers mention that the bear starts to fall apart<\/a> after a few days of use, leaving behind tears and masses of leg-stuffing:<\/p>\n

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Image: Amazon <\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Legz aside, the user questions section raises more than it answers about how this bear is getting used:<\/p>\n

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Image: Amazon <\/div>\n<\/div>\n

But not everyone hates Leggy the Bear. Overall, the bear has a 4.5 star rating, and 74 percent five-star reviews. Some of those glowing endorsements are pretending they didn\u2019t even notice the incredibly long legs. Others note them, but only in passing amusement. How quirky, this bear is a freak. \u201cLegs are a bit to long for body but its awesome,\u201d one happy customer wrote. Others mention that they use the legs as body pillows. I dunno, it might be kind of nice to lean on it and wrap its legs around you for support.<\/p>\n

A Google image search of the JoyFay bear reveals that there are many instances where the legs aren\u2019t just shown, but prominently featured. Just not in the Amazon listing for this specific 6.5 foot bear.<\/p>\n

Look at this fancy bear, the 91-inch brown version of the same above:<\/p>\n

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Image: Joyfay<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

This bear\u2019s life is better than mine. Here it is poolside, legs outstretched:<\/p>\n

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Image: Joyfay<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

A little research before spending more than $100 on a stuffed animal would have revealed that the legs are part of the deal. But the photos of the 6.5-foot bear are definitely skewed, if not deceiving.<\/p>\n

YouTuber drumr828<\/a> demonstrated the bear\u2019s size in a 2016 video, showing that the bear is definitely a long boy. <\/p>\n

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