\u201cWhen things go wrong\u201d is a troubling prospect for most couples to face, but the internet\u2014and the way that romantic partners engage both with and across it\u2014could require that this worst-case scenario become more of a best practice.<\/p>\n
In new research that Malwarebytes will release this month, romantic partners revealed that the degree to which they share passwords, locations, and devices with one another can invite mild annoyances\u2014like having an ex mooch off a shared Netflix account\u2014serious invasions of privacy\u2014like being spied on through a smart doorbell\u2014and even stalking and abuse.<\/p>\n
Importantly, this isn\u2019t just about jilted exes. This is also about people in active, committed relationships who have been pressured or forced into digital sharing beyond their limit.<\/p>\n
The proof is in the data.<\/p>\n
When Malwarebytes surveyed 500 people in committed relationships, 30% said they regretted sharing location tracking with their partner, 27% worried about their partners tracking them through location-based apps and services, and 23% worried that their current partner had accessed their accounts without their permission.<\/p>\n
Plenty of healthy, happy relationships share digital access through trust and consent. For those couples, mapping out how to digitally separate and insulate their accounts from one another \u201cwhen things go wrong\u201d could seem misguided.<\/p>\n
But for the many spouses, girlfriends, boyfriends, and partners who do not fully trust their significant other\u2014or who are still figuring out how much to trust someone new\u2014this exercise should serve as an act of security.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s what people can think about when working through just how much of their digital lives to share.<\/p>\n
A great deal of digital sharing within couples occurs on streaming platforms. One partner has Netflix, the other has Hulu, the two share Disney+, and years down the line, the couple can\u2019t quite tell who is in charge of Apple Music and who is supposed to cancel the one-week free trial to Peacock.<\/p>\n
This logistical nightmare, already difficult for people who are not in a committed relationship, is further complicated after a breakup (or during the relationship if one partner is particularly sensitive about their weekly algorithmic recommendations from Spotify).<\/p>\n
If an ex maintains access to your streaming accounts even after a breakup, there\u2019s little chance for abuse, but the situation can be aggravating. Maybe you don\u2019t want your ex to know that you\u2019re watching corny rom-coms, or that you\u2019re absolutely going through it on your seventh replay of Spotify\u2019s \u201cAngry Breakup Mix.\u201d These are valid annoyances that will require a password reset to boot your ex out of the shared account.<\/p>\n
But there\u2019s one type of shared account that should raise more caution than those listed above: A shared online shopping account, like Amazon.<\/p>\n
With access to a shared online shopping account, a spiteful ex could purchase goods using your saved credit card. They could also keep updates on your location should you ever move and change addresses in the app. This isn\u2019t the same threat as an ex having your real-time location, but for some individuals\u2014particularly survivors of domestic abuse who have escaped their partner\u2014any leak of a new address presents a major risk.<\/p>\n
When couples move into the same home, it can make sense to start sharing a variety of location-based apps.<\/p>\n
Looking for a vacation rental online for your next getaway? You\u2019re (hopefully) lodging together. Ordering delivery because nobody wants to make dinner? That order is being sent to the same shared address. Even some credit cards offer specific bonuses on services like Lyft, incentivizing some couples to rely more heavily on one account to score extra credits.<\/p>\n
While sharing access between these types of accounts can increase efficiency, it\u2019s important to know\u2014and this may sound obvious\u2014that many of these same shared location-based apps can reveal locations to a romantic partner, even after a breakup.<\/p>\n
Your vacation could be revealed to an ex who is abusing their previously shared login privileges into services like Airbnb or Vrbo, or by someone peering into the trip history of a shared Uber account that discloses that a car was recently taken to the airport. Food delivery apps, similarly, can reveal new addresses after a move\u2014a particular risk for survivors of domestic abuse who are trying to escape their physical situation.<\/p>\n
In fact, any account that tracks and provides access to location\u2014including Google\u2019s own \u201cTimeline\u201d feature<\/a> and fitness tracking devices made by Strava<\/a>\u2014could, in the wrong hands, become a security risk for stalking and abuse.<\/p>\n The vulnerabilities extend farther.<\/p>\n With the popularity of Internet of Things devices like smart doorbells and baby monitors, some partners may want to consider how safe they are from spying in their own homes. Plenty of user posts<\/a> on a variety of community forums<\/a> claim that exes and former spouses weaponized video-equipped doorbells and baby monitors to spy on a partner<\/a>.<\/p>\n These scenarios are frightening, but they are part of a larger question about whether you should share your location with your partner<\/a>. With the proper care and discussion, your location-sharing will be consensual, respected, and convenient for all.<\/p>\n When discussing the risks around digital sharing between couples, it\u2019s important to clarify that trustworthy partners do not become abusive simply because of their access to technology. A shared food delivery app doesn\u2019t guarantee that a partner will be spied on. A baby monitor with a live video stream is sometimes just that\u2014a baby monitor.<\/p>\n But many of the stories shared here expose the dangers that lie within arm\u2019s reach for abusive partners. The technology alone cannot be blamed for the abuse. Instead, the technology must be scrutinized simply because of its ubiquitous use in today\u2019s world.<\/p>\n The most serious concerns regarding digital access are the potential for stalking and abuse.<\/p>\n For partners that share devices and device passcodes, the notorious threat of stalkerware<\/a> makes it easy for an abusive partner to pry into a person\u2019s photos, videos, phone calls, text messages, locations, and more. Stalkerware can be installed on a person\u2019s device in a matter of minutes\u2014a low barrier of entry for couples that live with one another and who share each other\u2019s device passcodes.<\/p>\n For partners who share a vehicle, a recent problem has emerged<\/a>. In December, The New York Times reported on the story of a woman<\/a> who\u2014despite obtaining a restraining order against her ex-husband\u2014could not turn off her shared vehicle\u2019s location tracking. Because the car was in her husband\u2019s name, he was able to reportedly continue tracking and harassing her.<\/p>\n Even shared smart devices have become a threat. According to reporting from The New York Times in 2018<\/a>, survivors of domestic abuse began calling support lines with a bevvy of new concerns within their homes:<\/p>\n \u201cOne woman had turned on her air-conditioner, but said it then switched off without her touching it. Another said the code numbers of the digital lock at her front door changed every day and she could not figure out why. Still another told an abuse help line that she kept hearing the doorbell ring, but no one was there.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n The survivors\u2019 stories all pointed to the abuse of shared smart devices.<\/p>\n Whereas the solutions to many of the inconveniences and annoyances that can come with shared digital access are simple\u2014a reset password, a removal of a shared account\u2014the \u201csolutions\u201d for technology-enabled abuse are far more complex. These are problems that cannot be solely addressed with advice and good cybersecurity hygiene.<\/p>\n If you are personally experiencing this type of harassment, you can contact the National Network to End Domestic Violence<\/a> on their hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE.<\/p>\n Sharing your life with your partner should be a function of trust, and for many couples, it is. But, in the same way that it is impossible for a cybersecurity company to ignore even one ransomware attack, it\u2019s also improper for this cybersecurity and privacy company to ignore the reality facing many couples today.<\/p>\n There are new rules and standards for digital access within relationships. With the right information and the right guidance, hopefully more people will feel empowered to make the best decisions for themselves.<\/p>\n We don’t just report on threats – we help safeguard your entire digital identit<\/strong>y<\/p>\n Cybersecurity risks should never spread beyond a headline. Protect your\u2014and your family’s\u2014personal information by using identity protection<\/a>.<\/p>\nStalking and abuse<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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Making sure things go right<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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